FAQ

Answer 1 
This is a very interesting question. In fact most people don't realize that a person can actually be wiser through experiencing failure. They are conditioned to believe that a person can get nothing out of failure. We can't blame them because society has programmed us to measure only material things as a gain. The intangible aspects like being wiser, humble, more experienced are not considered as a gain.

If we take failure as a learning lesson, we would one day find the secret of creating wealth - that's when material wealth will start rolling in. Hence a person should not give up but learn from their failure and persist to find the solution that makes a thing or a project work !


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Answer 2
The founder of the newspaper USA Today once said  "..some parents worry that their children might fail. I'm concerned because mine are in their mid-30s and haven't failed yet."

The statement above portrays what you are asking very well. For those who don't understand, they are afraid of failing. But for those who understand, failure is the greatest teacher in one's life  - a harsh one no doubt.

There was another saying that states: -

"It is almost impossible to live with a person who has never failed at all.One type becomes very arrogant and behaves as if he is god.
The other type is one who is so timid, never daring to attempt to do anything in his life at all. Picture yourself living the lives of either these 2 types.
To live a full life a person must experience both sides. Achievements and failure. Those who never fail have only lived but half.

To be able to go down to the depths of failure and climb up to achieve the heights of glory makes a person more humane, able to relate with people of all walks of life - able to truly lived. Don't you think it's important?

There are people in this life who just like a life that flows smoothly without ups and downs. Frankly I feel very sad for these people. Just look at nature and one will know whether that's the way we should be living
our lives. There are mountains, there are seas. There are no road without rocks. There's always a changing of seasons which makes nature and life so interesting. Imagine a life that is the same and monotonous from the day you are born till you die. It will be so boring !
Listen to what Mother Teresa has to say, 
"Life is an adventure, dare it..."

Actually most people dare not do it because of the fear that if they were to do it, they may fail. In other words, they fear failure.

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Answer 3
First and foremost we must understand what failure really is. It's the same with everything we fear. Understand it and the fear will start to disappear. Take the cave-men for example, when they see lighting they were fearful - because they don't understand it.
Now let's analyse a case. A person wanting to climb up to the summit of a mountain. Do you think that throughout the journey he may not slip or step wrongly at all? Sure he would slip sometimes, step wrongly at times. He gets his footing right again make sure he steps correctly and continues his climb. The question is :- is the slipping failing? It's actually correction. No harm at all. In fact, failing is part and parcel of the process of success. Once you truly understand this concept, you will no longer fear failing anymore.

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Question 4 
 

Answer 4
It's truly very sad, but that is what happened to a lot of people in this world. I have always said, we were all born butterflies but as we grow older many of us degenerate to become a caterpillar.

The reason is because from young our environment (Parent, Teacher, Society) always "punish" us if we make a mistake or make a wrong choice. In other words we were punished for "trying". Hence after a while we daren't try anymore. I sincerely hope our society will understand my message. We must not be too protective until we punish people for every single mistake. If that is the case, the 'seed' of adventurism within the child will slowly die. We should cultivate a society that can tolerate mistakes and failures. We should not look down on people who try and fail but instead question those who fail to try.

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Answer 5
Generally that is true. First and foremost as I mentioned in the last answer, young people have not been conditioned too much compared to the older folks. Secondly, most young people feel that they are still young, therefore can afford to fail.  On the other hand, older folks fear that if they fail, they don't have enough time for them to succeed in their life again.

But the fact is no matter how young or old we are, we can always keep our "dare to fail" spirit burning. Actually Dare To Fail is Dare To learn. Because each time we try, whether we succeed or fail - We learn. Hence it's never too old to continue learning. In fact because of mankind's longer life span (140 years ago our life-span was only 40 years, today our life span has increased to 75 years), fifty-five years old is now the beginning of the second half of our lives, not the beginning of the end.

I'm now approaching 50 and I'm more confident and daring than before. This is because I've acquired more knowledge, experience and wisdom and I know more people.

Actually the choice is yours. You can choose to be a butterfly in your fifties or be like a caterpillar waiting to die.

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Answer  6
History abound with a lot of people who actually bounce from the depths of failure and finally reach the heights of success. Sun Yat Sen is one such example. He failed 10 times before he finally succeeded to become the President of the Nationalist Republic of China. Abraham Lincoln is a classic case of a man who really dares to fail. He failed so many times, in business, in his love life, in politics but finally becomes one of the greatest President of the United States.

One example close to home is a person whom I got to know a couple years ago - Michelle Yeoh. She wanted to be a professional dancer but her career was shattered when she had a serious back injury. She had hope of having a happy marriage but that was shattered too. What more she even had a miscarriage. Today I'm proud to say that as a fellow Malaysian, Michelle Yeoh has become the epitome of the lady next millennium, one with Beauty, Brain and Brawn.

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Answer 7 
If we were to analyze the case of Michelle Yeoh you will realize the following steps involved :-

a) She had a dream which she will hold on no matter what. Even though she can't become a professional dancer, she was able to use her skill to be a great "kung fu" actress. In way "Kung Fu" is like dancing.
b) She didn't give up but bounce back instead. In Michelle's case she bounce back by first becoming Miss Malaysia and later become an actress in Hong Kong.
c) They don't brood over spilled milk. Do what should be done. When her marriage was shattered, she move on. She goes back into acting again - this time with even more vigour which finally landed her the part of the leading lady in the James Bond Movie - Tomorrow Never Dies.
d) She lets go of the past. Although her first marriage did not make it, I do understand that she has found a man who will be able to make her even more happier.

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Answer 8
This is very true. One man's meat could be another man's poison. To some failing in marriage could be the end of their lives. But to others, it could be the beginning of a new life!

Some students commit suicide when they fail. Some are spurred on by their failure to achieve better result.

Some people break down when their business fail but some start from zero and finally become hero again! It all depends as I said before how a person perceive what "failure" really is. Each person's tresh -hold to withstand failure is different depending on their experience, training, exposure etc.

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Answers 9
I have this friend of mine from Thailand. Khun Sirivat Voravetvuthikun. He was a multi-millionaire who lost more than RM100 million during the recent economic crisis. He didn't just brood. He took it as one of his greatest challenge in life. He start selling sandwiches on the streets. Today he is considered a sort of 'Hero' in Thailand.

Another case is rather interesting. This also involve a multi-millionaire from Sabah. When he lost everything, he nearly wanted to commit suicide. One day a friend gave him a copy of my "Dare To Fail" book. He read it and his perception changes. He views 'failure' now differently and I'm proud to say that he is bouncing back.

It's very important how we view things. If you fail in business or in our marriage it does not mean you have failed in you life. 

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 So learn from our mistakes and move on!  Do not dwell in our failures.  We should use it as a learning lesson to bounce to greater heights.  In a golf game, every wrong stroke is considered a "practice"

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Answer 11
Yes, most people when they fail, they feel very disappointed and downhearted.  This is quite normal but we must not dwell there for too long a time.  Because if we do, the negative thoughts will dominate us and we will soon be drowned by them.  We will withdraw and dare not face the world anymore.

To break from this type of negative mind-set we have to look at the failure from different angle.  Let's say we fail to get the girl we want.  Put it differently. Perhaps there is a better girl you have not met yet.  Let's say we fail to get a job at the interview.  It would be a message that we should improve ourselves by perhaps attending courses to improve our presentation.  Always  remember to separate your failure experience from yourself.  If you fail in something, it does not mean you have failed in your life.

The next thing you can do is to read books or listen to tapes which are inspiring.  Books which contain stories of how people surmount great odds and resistances before they finally achieve the things that they want.  All these will help you have courage to "try again".  The key word is try again!

As for what other people say,  here's a good suggestion, pretend he's singing a song or you don't understand him because he's speaking Japanese.  And remember one thing:-  If it were not for the doers, the critics of this world would have long been out of business!

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Answer 12
I'm very glad you use the word "bittersweet" .  In fact it is really true.  Once you no longer fear failure, all the rejections, non-results and "bad" experiences will taste like your favourite "sweet & sour" dish.  I would like to quote this interesting experience when my first girlfriend left me.  I just don't understand why she has decided to leave me and I wanted to find out whether there is still a chance that she will come back to me or not.

So what I did was, I 'plant' a girl to befriend her, to act as a "spy" for me.  One day this "spy" came back to report to me that my girlfriend had gone to a temple that day and prayed that in her next life she would not like to be reborn to meet me again!  That's bitter sweet - it hurts yet it was funny.

When I first launched my book "Dare To Fail"  many people (friends included) were looking down at me and laughing at me for the many times that I have failed before.  They were thinking I like failing so much that now I've to write a book on failing.  They were in fact looking down on me by measuring my material achievement up to that point in time.  Frankly inside me I was really waiting for the day to see who laugh last.  I put all my efforts to promote the book, upgrading it along the way to make it the best book on failure in the world.  The experience is so bitter and yet so sweet.  It's getting sweeter and sweeter each day as I'm beginning to see my million copies in sight!

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Answer 13
Yes, belief is very powerful.  If we believe we can, the positive cycle in our mind starts to work.  We begin to think about all the possibilities that a thing can be done.  This further enhances our spirit and we begin to tap into the universal spirit of power.

Once we doubt our own ability, we begin to close up, cutting ourselves from the universal powerful force and we become weaken.

In order to believe that you can, you must first understand what a human being really is.  How fantastic is it to become a human being.  Most  people don't understand this.  That's why they go through life without  confidence and belief in oneself.  If you can't even believe in yourself, how can you expect others to believe in you to give you the things that you want?

Yes, belief is POWER !  But be careful what you believe in.  Because as what Henry Ford said, "If you think you can or think you can't , you are right."

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Answer 14
There are many people out there who are like your friend.  They feel that they are already too old to succeed.  Actually there is no such thing as an age to succeed.  There is no such thing that you can only succeed when you are young.  The fact is a person succeeds after he has acquired enough knowledge, experience and skill in handling a particular task.  A lot of time a person takes years to learn that.  In my book, I have a chapter entitled "Fear of being too old to succeed".  There was a research, which found that 66% of the greatest things in the world were accomplished by men who had passed their 60th year, less than 1% were attributed to people below the age of 40.

In your friend's case, he is being influenced by the masses of average people who do not know about the lives of  great achievers.  If he comes to know about these great people, he will realize that at 45 he is at the age of prime productivity.  In fact his greatest chances of succeeding has just begun!

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Answer 15
In fact I can suggest many examples not only one or two.  Anyway here are a few examples: -

a) Ray Kroc, the founder of Mc Donald hamburger franchise was a paper cup salesman before he started the Mc Donald franchise at age 52!
b) Michealangelo painted his masterpiece between the ages of 71 to 89!
c) Coco Channel was having her fashion company at the age of 85.
d) Picasso was still doing his masterpiece in his 90's

As for myself,  my real achievement began after the age of 46 and I see great possibilities ahead.  I have never felt greater than ever before.

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Answer 16
That is the reason why I wrote the 2 of my books which have now become best sellers in many countries: - Dare To Fail and Wisdom In Failure.  Inside them one can find the real life experiences of many great people.  Stories which were seldom made public.  The real happenings behind the successes.   In other words, the other side of the success story.  The problem with most people is they think people succeed overnight.  They fail to see all the hardships and obstacles that these people have undergone during their journey to get what they want.

Soichiro Honda states it very correctly, "What people see of my success is only 1% but what they don't see is the 99% which are my failures".

Hence understanding failures and knowing the facts and also where you are now is very important for one to bounce back from failure !
 

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